I Saw Rory Kissing Santa Claus
by Ayatolless
Summary: Rory and Jess get caught out when Logan finds them working as Mr. and Mrs. Claus at the mall, Lorelai enters her house in the Annual Stars Hollow Decorating Contest, and Rory gets a surprise Christmas present, but she doesn't know who it's from...
1. Hair Gel Opening Credits

RORY AND JESS: THE LATER YEARS (SEASON 6 REWRITTEN)

EPISODE 6:12: I SAW RORY KISSING SANTA CLAUS

(2 HOUR SPECIAL)

SUMMARY: Rory and Jess get caught out when Logan finds them working as Mr. and Mrs. Claus at the mall; Lorelai enters her house in the Annual Stars Hollow Decorating Contest; and Rory gets a surprise Christmas present, but she doesn't know if it's from Jess or Logan.

RATED TV14 for mild language, sexual situations, and suggestive dialogue.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gilmore Girls or have any say over what happens on the show. This is just a FAN FICTION. The following script contains no spoilers, only what I WISH would happen. I assume no responsibility if any of the following events listed in this script DO happen on the show in the future. Gilmore girls and all the characters in the following script are the property of Amy Sherman Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and the WB.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following script takes place episode 6.12, and directly follows Mary and Magdalene. It is the fifth installment in the Rory and Jess: The Later Years series. I am in the process of writing a series of scripts that take place during Season 6, rewriting the season. The story begins with Jess's return, and mainly revolves around the Rory/Jess/Logan love triangle. Luke and Lorelai are also involved. Although I suggest that you read all of the scripts, feel free to jump right in with this one. Both positive and negative feedback is always welcome.

FADE IN:

INT. LUKE'S DINER -- MORNING

LUKE is standing behind the counter working. The diner is busy with people everywhere. TAYLOR enters. He goes over to the counter and stops near LUKE. LUKE tosses a rag over his shoulder and turns to TAYLOR.

LUKE: What can I get you, Taylor?

TAYLOR: Actually I'm all set, I just came to talk to you about...

LUKE: No!

TAYLOR: But why not? The whole town has Christmas decorations of some sort except for your diner! Can't you at least be a little bit festive and string some lights outside?

LUKE: I could.

TAYLOR: (looks pleasantly surprised) Oh. Well then…

LUKE: But I won't.

TAYLOR: (frustrated) You're being ridiculous! Just because you're Ebenezer Scrooge doesn't mean that your customers don't want to spread a little Christmas cheer when they come in for their coffee and donut.

LUKE shakes his head, frustrated.

TAYLOR (CON'T): What does Lorelai think? I'm sure Lorelai wants you to put up decorations.

LUKE: Lorelai doesn't care whether or not I put up decorations. Taylor, we have this discussion every year, and every year I give you the same answer. The diner stays as is. No lights, no Christmas tree, no bows hanging on the walls.

TAYLOR: I know for a fact that Lorelai does too care about decorations. She is entering her house in the first annual Stars Hollow Christmas Decoration Contest!

LUKE: You're joking, right?

TAYLOR: I most certainly am not! She was at Doose's today buying all sorts of lights, giant candy canes- even a Santa Claus that stands on the chimney.

LUKE: Aw, jeez… 

TAYLOR: She said you and that little hooligan nephew of yours were going to put them up.

LUKE: She did not say that.

TAYLOR: Well. Those weren't here exact words, but more or less…By the way, how long is he going to stay here?

LUKE: I don't know.

TAYLOR: Because you know, if he is going to stay here, he ought to get a job. Contribute to the town a little.

LUKE: (looking at TAYLOR like he's crazy) Uh huh.

TAYLOR: Instead of meandering around town with Rory all day. He's distracting her from her studies!

LUKE: She's taking some time off.

TAYLOR: My point exactly!

LUKE: (leaning over the counter, in a hushed voice) Did Lorelai really say that Jess and I were gonna hang up the decorations?

TAYLOR: Yes, she was quite enthusiastic about it too.

LUKE: And this looked like it meant a lot to her?

TAYLOR: It most certainly did!

LUKE sighs with frustration. The PHONE RINGS.

TAYLOR (CON'T): Has that nephew of yours ever considered joining the Marines? He's about the right age, and the discipline you learn! He could use some discipline. He's certainly not getting any around here...

LUKE gives TAYLOR a dirty look as he answers the phone.

LUKE: (into the phone) Luke's.

LUKE listens on the phone.

LUKE (CON'T): (into the phone) Who's calling please?...Are you selling something, cause he's not interested...uh huh...hold on, I'll go see if I can find him...

LUKE puts the phone down.

LUKE (CON'T): (poking his head into the kitchen, yelling) Ceaser, I'm going upstairs for a minute.

CUT TO:

INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

LUKE enters his apartment. There are clothes lying all over the floor and the place is a mess. Loud ROCK MUSIC is blaring. LUKE covers his ears and attempts to make his way through the mess of clothes.

He trips, stumbles, and makes an angry face. He reaches down and pulls a denim jacket out from underneath himself.

LUKE: (muttering) Damn it Jess!

He throws the jacket across the room.

LUKE (CON'T): (yelling) Jess? You here?

LUKE approaches the bathroom door which is closed. He hears JESS'S VOICE from inside the bathroom.

JESS (Off-Screen.): (moaning) More...

LUKE'S eyes go wide. He hesitates, then presses his ear towards the door.

RORY (Off-Screen.): Jess!

JESS (O.S.): I need more!

LUKE backs away immediately, shocked and horrified. He runs out of the apartment, tripping along the way and muttering to himself.

CUT TO:

INT. LUKE'S DINER -- MOMENTS LATER

LUKE rushes downstairs and picks up the telephone.

LUKE: (into the phone) Hello?...yeah, he can't come to the phone right now...no, you don't understand, he REALLY can't come to the phone right now...uh huh...I can take your number and he can...really important huh...an emergency?... (sighing) Okay...just a second...

LUKE puts the phone down. He sees TAYLOR attempting to string some Christmas lights along the counter. He angrily grabs them out of his grasp.

TAYLOR: I'm just trying to spread a little holiday cheer!

LUKE: Well spread it somewhere else! If I come back down here and there is any sign of decorations, that includes lights, Santas, Menorahs, dreidels, anything at all- I'm going to go to Doose's, buy all of your holiday decorations, and shove them up your-

TAYLOR points to a child sitting at a table next to him. LUKE sighs.

CUT TO:

INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

LUKE enters his apartment. The ROCK MUSIC continues blasting. He carefully makes his way towards the bathroom door.

JESS (O.S.): That feels good.

RORY (O.S.): Is that enough?

JESS (O.S.): More.

LUKE, with a horrified look on his face, covers his eyes and knocks on the bathroom door.

JESS (O.S.): Come in...More Rory!

LUKE cringes. Still covering his eyes, he opens the door and pokes his arm in, keeping his head outside of the door. Inside the bathroom, JESS is sitting on a chair. RORY stands over him putting gel in his hair, both fully clothed.

JESS: I need more!

RORY: My hands are getting tired!

LUKE walks backs into the other room, still covering his eyes.

LUKE: (distressed) I can't listen to this! (yelling) Jess, you have a phone call.

RORY and JESS look at each other, confused, then back up at LUKE.

JESS: (yelling) What?

LUKE sighs. Keeping his hand over his eyes, he walks back into the bathroom.

LUKE: You have a phone call.

JESS and RORY exchange looks.

RORY: (to JESS) Is he okay?

LUKE: Does Rory have all her clothes on?

JESS: (making a strange face) Yes...

LUKE slowly takes his hand away from his eyes. RORY continues to style JESS'S hair.

JESS (CON'T): (to RORY) A little more on the top.

RORY: Now I see why you go through two bottles a week.

LUKE stares, stunned.

JESS: (to LUKE) Are you lost?

LUKE shakes his head, barely able to speak.

LUKE: You have…a phone call.

JESS: Take a message.

LUKE: She says it's important.

RORY: (looking at JESS) She?

JESS rolls his eyes.

JESS: (to LUKE) Who is it?

LUKE: A little girl from California. Says her name's...Daisy or Lily or something, some flowery name.

JESS gets up immediately, pushes past LUKE and goes downstairs.

(Opening Credits)


	2. To California, From China

CUT TO:

INT. LUKE'S DINER -- MOMENTS LATER

JESS walks down the stairs, behind the counter, and picks up the phone. LUKE follows him down the stairs.

JESS: (into the phone) Hello?...(smiles) Hey...

TAYLOR: (to LUKE) Is Rory upstairs?

LUKE: That's none of your business.

TAYLOR: I knew it. Doesn't that girl have a boyfriend? That Huntzburger fellow...his father owns a paper...

LUKE: Don't you have someone better to harass...Miss Patty...Kirk?

TAYLOR: You know, in my day, a lady was looked down upon for this kind of behavior. It earned her...a reputation. And an undesirable one at that.

RORY comes downstairs.

LUKE: (to TAYLOR) Not another word.

LUKE goes back to work. RORY walks behind the counter, pours herself a cup of coffee, walks towards JESS and listens to his side of the conversation.

JESS: (into the phone)...Of course I didn't forget...the 17th, right?...Yeah, I'll be there...I promise...(looking at RORY) I'll see you in a few days...bye.

JESS hangs up the phone. RORY looks at him.

JESS (CON'T): That was Lily...Jimmy's girlfriend's daughter...

RORY: And?

JESS: I told her...

RORY and JESS look at TAYLOR, who is leaning over the counter listening to their conversation. He turns his head innocently and begins whistling.

JESS (CON'T): Let's go outside.

CUT TO:

EXT. LUKE'S DINER -- MOMENTS LATER

RORY and JESS walk outside.

JESS: I promised Lily I would go to her Christmas concert. It's kinda corny...the kids sing and stuff...I go every year.

RORY nods.

RORY: So when will you be back?

JESS: I don't know...I'm gonna drive back so I can have my car here...

RORY: That'll take forever!

JESS: I can't afford to ship it! That's over a thousand dollars.

RORY: (sadly) I know...

JESS: I need my car here. I'm going crazy. Taylor's chasing me around with applications to join the military...he'll probably have a town parade when he finds out I'm gone.

RORY: You're underestimating him. He'll probably have a festival.

JESS turns away from RORY and runs his fingers through his hair with frustration. Nervously, he turns back towards RORY.

JESS: You wanna come with me?

RORY: Jess...I can't...

JESS: I know.

JESS looks both ways to see if anyone is watching them. He wraps his arms around RORY'S waist. RORY looks to the side uncomfortably.

JESS (CON'T): I'm gonna drive back...so I probably won't be here for Christmas.

RORY: Jess!

JESS: I need my car, Rory.

RORY pouts. JESS tightens his grip around her waist. RORY looks around nervously and tries to push him away.

RORY: Jess, not here...

JESS ignores her and kisses her passionately. She hesitates, then wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him back. She strokes his face. They continue to kiss. After a moment, RORY pulls away. They hold hands.

RORY (CON'T): So when are you leaving?

JESS: Tonight.

RORY: Plane?

JESS: Bus.

RORY: Plane.

JESS: Bus.

RORY: That'll take forever.

JESS: That will save me money.

RORY: I'll pay for the ticket.

JESS: (smirks) Yeah right.

RORY: I will.

JESS: I won't let you.

RORY: Too bad. You can pay me back.

JESS: I'll be fine, okay? I've taken a lot of busses.

RORY: It'll be your Christmas present.

JESS smiles and pulls RORY towards him.

JESS: I'd rather have something else as a Christmas present.

RORY turns away slightly with embarrassment and smiles.

RORY: You're not going to get anything until you get back here...so go, start packing.

She pushes him away gently. They start to head back inside the diner.

RORY: I'm buying you the plane ticket. I've got flyer miles.

JESS: When do you fly?

RORY: I don't. But Logan does.

JESS smirks. RORY playfully pushes him inside the diner.

CUT TO:

EXT. LUKE'S DINER -- EVENING

It is late and the diner is closed. All the lights are off and the chairs are on the tables. JESS walks out the door, wearing his leather jacket and carrying a duffel bag over his shoulder. He locks the door behind him and starts walking down the street. He passes LANE, who is walking down the other side of the street. LANE stops.

LANE: (nervously) Hi, Jess...

JESS: Hi.

They begin walking together.

LANE: What's up?

JESS: Not much.

LANE notices the bag over his shoulder and gestures towards it.

LANE: What's that?

JESS: Uh, clothes.

LANE: Clothes? Going somewhere, Jess?

JESS picks up his pace. LANE picks up hers and follows alongside him.

LANE: Where you going Jess? Running away again? Does Rory know about this?

JESS: I'm going home for a few days.

LANE: A few days? By a few days, do you mean, a few years? You going to just disappear in the middle of the night again without a trace, no letter, no phone call?

LANE stops in front of JESS to prevent him from walking further.

JESS: I'll be back after Christmas.

LANE: After Christmas! Oh, so you're going to just let Rory spend Christmas by herself, with no one to kiss under the mistletoe? Not that she'd wanna kiss you anyway!

JESS: (gently pushing past her) I've got a plane to catch.

LANE: (chasing after him) Oh no, you're not going anywhere! You're going to call Rory right now and explain to her why you're leaving again! She doesn't deserve this, Jess.

JESS stops, turns, and gives her a stern look as he listens to her ramble.

LANE (CON'T): Rory is the most perfect girl that you will ever find. Granted, she doesn't have the best taste in men, and she likes the new White Stripes CD, but otherwise, she is as good as it gets! And if you can't realize that, than she deserves to choose Logan over you!

JESS: Are you done?

LANE pouts angrily for a moment before responding.

LANE: Yes, I'm done.

JESS: (calmly) Rory bought me the plane ticket. She knows I'm going. I'm not running away from anything...except crazy female drummers who chase me down the street.

He starts walking again.

LANE: (yelling after him) I'm not gonna let you get away with this!

She runs after JESS, stops him, searching his pockets.

JESS: What the hell...

LANE: Where's your cell phone, I'm calling Rory!

JESS: (pulling out his cell phone) Did you get bit by a rabid dog while I was gone?

JESS hands his cell phone to LANE. She stares at him angrily and dials RORY'S number.

INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION

CUT TO:

INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE -- CONTINUOUS

RORY is sitting in her bedroom when the phone rings. She picks up the phone.

RORY: Hello?

LANE: Rory?

RORY: Lane?

LANE: I'm here with Jess. Are you still dating Jess?

RORY: Uh...sort of. Where are you?

LANE: Well, you're not gonna believe this Rory, but I caught Jess trying to sneak away in the middle of the night. If you don't believe me, come see, he's got his bags packed and everything.

RORY: Oh, I know. He's going to California.

LANE: Yeah, he...wait. You know?

RORY: Yup.

LANE: How is that possible?

RORY: He told me.

LANE: (looking at JESS) And you're okay with this?

RORY: He'll be back in a few days.

LANE smiles at JESS apologetically. He smiles back at her smugly.

LANE: Well. Okay then. I'll talk to you later Rory.

RORY: Tell Jess I said bye.

LANE: Oh, I'll tell him.

She hangs up the phone and hands it to JESS.

END PHONE CONVERSATION

CUT TO:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW -- CONTINUOUS

LANE: Well Jess. I guess I owe you an apology.

JESS: Don't worry about it.

LANE nods.

LANE: I won't.

JESS and LANE stare at each other.

LANE (CON'T): So. You still like Rory, huh?

JESS: (shrugs) She's grown on me.

LANE: You better not hurt her again.

JESS: I won't.

LANE: I never liked you Jess.

JESS: Wasn't a big fan of you either.

LANE: But that has to change. For Rory's sake. We have to get along again.

JESS: I suppose that would make things easier.

LANE: So I'm willing to give you another chance.

JESS nods.

LANE steps close to JESS.

LANE (CON'T): If you ever hurt Rory again- in any way- I'm going to castrate you.

JESS'S expression fades. LANE smiles and taps him on the shoulder.

LANE (CON'T): Merry Christmas, Jess.

INT. DRAGONFLY INN FRONT DESK -- DAY

Lorelai and Michel are standing behind the desk answering the phones. They are RINGING off the hook.

LORELAI: (into the phone) Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking, one moment please.

She picks up another phone.

LORELAI (CON'T): (into the phone) Dragonfly Inn...

MICHEL: (into the phone) Dragonfly Inn, Michel speaking, one moment please...

LORELAI: (into the phone) Yes, your room is still reserved for December 24th.

MICHEL: (into the phone) I'm sorry, we have no available rooms at the moment. Perhaps the Holiday Inn can take you.

LORELAI: (into the phone) Yes we do have a Christmas tree...

MICHEL: (into the phone) No, we are not accepting reservations for the next month...well you should have called sooner...

LORELAI: (into the phone) Well we don't have any planned recreational activities for children...

MICHEL: (into the phone) So I suppose you would like me to go upstairs and kick some of the guests out myself?

LORELAI: (into the phone) Thank you Mr. Howard. We'll see you on the 24th.

MICHEL: (into the phone) Why don't you tell that to Chingy while you're partying at the Holiday Inn!

LORELAI: (into the phone) Goodbye.

MICHEL: (into the phone) (angrily) Goodbye!

They both hang up the phones and sigh with frustration. LORELAI rests her head down on the desk.

LORELAI: I can't take it anymore.

MICHEL: At least you don't have to deal with the ignoramuses who still want to make holiday reservations. I need a vacation.

LORELAI: I need coffee. If anyone calls, tell them I died.

LORELAI slowly picks her head up off of the desk and saunters towards the kitchen. The PHONE RINGS. She makes an expression of agony and continues to walk towards the kitchen. MICHEL picks up the phone.

MICHEL: (into the phone) Dragonfly Inn, Michel speaking...Oh I'm sorry, she passed away this morning. Can I take a message?... Oh hello Mrs. Gilmore, I'm terribly sorry I did not recognize your voice, it has been so stressful here today... Let me go try to revive her.

MICHEL walks into the kitchen.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN -- CONTINUOUS

LORELAI is drinking a cup of coffee.

MICHEL: Your mother is on the phone.

LORELAI: Did you tell her I died?

MICHEL: She did not buy it.

LORELAI: Hmmm...Tell her I joined the circus!

MICHEL: I am not going to dignify that with a response.

CUT TO:

INT. DRAGONFLY INN FRONT DESK -- MOMENTS LATER

LORELAI picks up the phone.

LORELAI: (into the phone) Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking.

INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION

CUT TO:

INT. ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE -- CONTINUOUS

EMILY is sitting in the living room.

EMILY: Hello Lorelai.

LORELAI: Hello Mom.

EMILY: I wanted to let you know that our Christmas party is going to be on Friday.

LORELAI: Uh huh.

EMILY: You do intend on coming, don't you?

LORELAI: (sorting through papers at the desk) Let me check...Nope.

EMILY: Why not?

LORELAI: (smirks) So many reasons...Where should I begin...

EMILY: Oh for Heaven's sake Lorelai just spit it out. If you're trying to hide your engagement to Luke from us, forget it, we already know.

LORELAI: You do?

EMILY: Yes, we do.

There is a pause.

EMILY (CON'T): Are you still there?

LORELAI: Just waiting for you to yell at me.

EMILY: I figure that can wait until after the Christmas party.

LORELAI: Well you may as well get it over with now, because we're not coming. Or, I'm not coming, I'm not sure about Rory, but I highly doubt she's going if I'm not going. So tell Christopher he doesn't have to come either.

EMILY: I didn't know Christopher was coming.

LORELAI: Neither did I.

LORELAI hangs up the phone and sighs. The phone rings. She picks it up.

LORELAI (CON'T): (into the phone) Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking.

EMILY: You hung up on me.

LORELAI: Yes I did.

EMILY: You don't hang up on your mother.

LORELAI: And you don't invite Christopher over for Thanksgiving dinner without telling me! God, why am I even having this conversation with you. You conned me into going there with your 'tell Sookie to bring her food' and 'tell Luke he can bring his family.'

EMILY: It was Christopher's idea!

LORELAI: What?

EMILY: He thought if I told you that he was coming that you wouldn't come.

LORELAI: Smart man, that Christopher.

EMILY: He wanted to see Rory.

LORELAI: He could have called her.

EMILY: Don't you think that your father and I would like to get to know Luke a little better before you marry him?

There is a pause. LORELAI looks around, debating inside her head.

LORELAI: What time on Friday?

EMILY: Seven. Tell Rory I already invited Logan. He's flying in from China that night, so he's going to be a little late.

LORELAI: (with a fake smile) She'll be thrilled.


	3. Magic Tricks, Babes In Toyland

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM -- EVENING

There are children singing NOEL on stage. The audience is silent and full of parents, grandparents, and bored siblings. Many parents hold video cameras. Some sleep. The camera pans down an isle past parents up to a row near the front and stops at JIMMY and SASHA. SASHA watches the concert eagerly, while JIMMY slouches in his chair and appears bored, but keeps his eyes on the stage. JESS appears, pushing past the other people in the row to get to JIMMY and SASHA. He is holding a bouquet of flowers. As he sits down, SASHA turns towards him with and ugly look, and JIMMY does not bother to acknowledge him.

JESS: (whispering) Did I miss anything?

JIMMY: (turning towards JESS) Where the hell did you come from?

JESS: (pointing upward) Chimney?

JIMMY rolls his eyes and focuses his attention back towards the stage. JESS leans towards SASHA.

JESS (CON'T): (whispering) Where is she?

SASHA calms her expression and leans towards JESS.

SASHA: (whispering and pointing) Over there. Second row.

JESS: (smiles) Ah. I see her. Did I miss her solo?

SASHA: Not yet, any minute now.

The camera shows a wide shot of the children. The song end and the audience claps. JESS cheers loudly along with SASHA and JIMMY. The accompanist begins to play ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH.

SASHA (CON'T): (whispering, to JESS) This is it.

CHORUS: (singing) Angels we have heard on high...

The camera shows a medium shot of LILY.

LILY: (singing) Sweetly singing o'er the plains.

CHORUS: (singing) And the mountains in reply...

LILY: (singing) Echoing their joyous strains.

JESS smiles as he watches.

CHORUS (O.S.): (singing) Gloria...

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY -- A SHORT WHILE LATER

LILY is putting on her jacket and looking around. There are children and parents everywhere. Suddenly her eyes widen with excitement.

LILY: Jess!

She runs towards JESS and into his arms. He crouches down and hugs her.

JESS: Hey you. You were great.

LILY: I thought you weren't coming.

JESS: Told you I'd be here.

They smile at each other. JESS stands up.

JESS: I got something for ya'.

LILY: (excitedly) What is it?

JESS strokes his chin and looks around.

JESS: Huh. Looks like I forgot it.

LILY: No!

JESS: Hmm. Let's see.

He reaches behind her back and pulls out the bouquet of flowers he was holding earlier and hands them to her. Her face lights up. She looks behind her back.

LILY: How'd you do that?

JESS smiles. JIMMY and SASHA walk towards them. LILY runs over towards them.

LILY (CON'T): Mom, look what Jess gave me!

SASHA: I saw. Sweetie you were great.

LILY: (beaming) Thanks.

JIMMY wanders over towards JESS.

JIMMY: How long?

JESS: How long what?

JIMMY: How long are you staying? A week? Two?

JESS: Don't go out of your way to make me feel at home.

JIMMY: You were supposed to be here two days ago. What happened?

JESS: I got tied up.

JIMMY: Tied up? Jess this concert meant the world to this girl, and you mean to tell me you got tied up?

JESS: I got here, okay? Can we talk about this later, it's her night, let's not spoil it.

JIMMY gives JESS a stern look, then nods. They walk over towards LILY and SASHA. They all begin to leave the building. There is a vending machine next to the door.

LILY: (to SASHA) Can I get a soda?

SASHA: (digging in her pockets) I'll see if I have any quarters...

JESS reaches behind LILY'S ear and pulls out two quarters and hands them to her. She smiles and inserts them into the machine.

CUT TO:

INT. SASHA AND JIMMY'S HOUSE -- LATER THAT EVENING

JESS and LILY sit at the kitchen table. JESS is doing card tricks while LILY watches in awe. SASHA and JIMMY sit in the next room over watching television.

JESS: (holding up a card) Is this your card?

LILY: Of course. Show me how to do it.

JESS: (shuffling the cards) Can't.

LILY: Why not?

JESS: Magician's secret.

LILY: Show me how to pull a coin out of my ear. Or make it disappear in my hand!

JESS shakes his head.

LILY (CON'T): Please Jess. I won't tell anyone.

JESS: (smiling) Promise you won't tell anyone?

LILY: (excitedly) Promise!

JESS: Okay...You take your hand...

He rolls up his sleeve and extends his hand in front of her and begins to explain the trick.

CUT TO:

INT. UPSTAIRS SASHA AND JIMMY'S HOUSE -- LATER

It is late and everyone is getting ready for bed. JESS saunters down the hallway in sweatpants towards the bathroom. SASHA comes out of the bathroom.

SASHA: All yours.

JESS: Thanks.

SASHA begins to walk away.

JESS (CON'T): Hey, Sasha?

SASHA: (turning around) Yeah?

JESS: Do you know why my car isn't outside? Did you put it in the garage?

JIMMY walks down the hall and stops next to SASHA.

SASHA: (to JIMMY) What'd you do with his car?

JIMMY: What?

SASHA: Jess wants to know where his car is.

JIMMY: (confused) You got it shipped to Connecticut.

JESS: No, I didn't. I was gonna drive it back.

JIMMY: Well some guy came yesterday and took it.

JESS: (angry) Some guy!

JIMMY: He had a truck or a fork lift or something.

JESS: Did he have a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer too?

JIMMY: He was green and he had a dog named Max. I don't know, I didn't ask him any questions! I thought you sent it over!

JESS: Like I have the money for that.

JIMMY: Maybe Liz had someone come to get it.

JESS shakes his head in disbelief at the remark and smirks to himself.

SASHA: Maybe his girlfriend paid for it.

JIMMY: (to JESS, with disbelief) You have a girlfriend?

JESS: (giving SASHA a look) I do not have a girlfriend.

LILY comes running down the hallway in pajamas.

LILY: Mommy can I sleep in Jess's room?

SASHA looks down at LILY and then up at JESS.

SASHA: Honey I think Jess had a long flight, and a long day, and could use some quiet time.

LILY pouts and looks up at JESS.

LILY: (disappointed) Okay.

JESS: No, it's fine with me.

He bends over and picks LILY up.

JESS: (to LILY) Ready for bed?

LILY: (smiling) Yes.

JIMMY: (to JESS) I'll call some places tomorrow and see if I can find out what happened to your car, okay?

JESS: (walking away) Can't wait.

CUT TO:

INT. JESS'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

JESS and LILY sit on the bed. JESS is showing her a small photo album.

LILY (CON'T): Who's that?

JESS: That's Luke...my uncle. And this is his diner, where I sling hash.

LILY: What's sling hash?

JESS: (laughing) It means I work there.

LILY: I thought you were an author.

JESS: I am. I just help him out. Speaking of which...

JESS leans over the side of the bed and grabs his bag. He opens it up and pulls out a copy of Literati. He hands it to LILY.

LILY: Your book!

JESS: Merry Christmas.

LILY: I thought you said I was too young to read it.

JESS: You are.

LILY: (flipping through it) Then why are you giving it to me? I'm gonna read it.

JESS: You can read it under one condition.

LILY: What's that?

JESS: If you have any questions about anything you read in there, you will ask Jimmy, not your mother.

LILY: (shrugging) Okay.

LILY puts the book down and draws her attention back to the photo album.

LILY: Who's that?

The camera shows a shot from behind them to reveal that the picture is of RORY.

JESS: (smiling) That's the most beautiful girl in the world.

LILY: She looks like a princess. What's her name?

JESS: Rory.

LILY: You like her. I can tell.

JESS: You could say that.

JESS looks at his watch.

JESS (CON'T): I think it's time for bed.

LILY: Is that why you're going back to Connecticut?

JESS does not respond. He closes the photo album and starts clearing off the bed.

LILY (CON'T): I know it is. Whether you say yes or no, I know that's why.

JESS looks at LILY and kisses her forehead.

CUT TO:

INT. LORELAI'S KITCHEN -- DAY

LORELAI is sorting through a box of Christmas lights and ornaments. RORY walks in through the back door.

LORELAI: (happily) You're just in time! Luke is about to decorate the house, and I can't decide if I want rainbow colored lights or all white.

She holds a string of each up for RORY to see.

RORY: I don't know, all white?

LORELAI: Why?

RORY: Because they're less tacky- hey, why is Luke decorating the house again?

LORELAI: Because we're entering the decorating contest.

RORY: The decorating contest?

LORELAI: Taylor got bored.

RORY: Right. So I suppose Kirk is entering?

LORELAI: Oh yeah. He and Lulu are going all out- Santa Claus, elves, eight tiny reindeer- and that's just on the roof.

RORY: Wow, their first Christmas decorating contest together. How sweet.

LORELAI: It's everyone's first decorating contest.

RORY: Maybe next year they'll take you down at the dance marathon!

LORELAI: So how's Lane?

RORY: (sitting down) Driving me crazy. She made me watch Yo MTV Raps all night.

LORELAI: Uh, sweetie, Yo MTV Raps was on when I was a kid. I don't think they show that anymore.

RORY: Well we watched something with hip hop music and guys running around in baggy pants and people pimping out their rides.

LORELAI: Since when does Lane have an interest in hip hop music?

RORY: Since she saw Hustle and Flow.

LORELAI: And she felt bad that it's so hard out there for a pimp?

RORY: (getting up to go look in the fridge) She should feel bad for making me listen to that crap all night. When's the last time you went shopping?

LORELAI: (smirks) You've been living away from home WAY too long.

RORY finds a can of soda, closes the fridge and sits down at the table.

LORELAI (CON'T): So how long do you think Lane's urban kick will last?

RORY: I'm not sure. I guess it wasn't that bad- I even learned something.

LORELAI: How to get to 50 Cent's house?

RORY: That I too, can get Dipset. I just have to get my lips wet.

LORELAI: (with fake enthusiasm) Who would've thought?

A distant "HO HO HO" can be heard in the background.

LORELAI: Did you hear something?

There is a banging at the front door.

JESS (O.S.): Ho ho ho!

LORELAI: Santa?

RORY: Why is Santa at the front door?

LORELAI: (worried) Did you forget to clean the chimney?

RORY: Uh-oh.

They look at each other and run to the front door.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

RORY and LORELAI run towards the front door. RORY opens it. JESS dressed as SANTA CLAUS stands in the doorway.

JESS: Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas! Rory I hear you've been a very good girl this year.

RORY: (smiling) Jess!

RORY jumps into JESS'S arms and kisses him. He pulls down his Santa beard and lifts her up as she wraps her arms and legs around him. They make out passionately. LORELAI watches uncomfortably.

LORELAI: Hey Jess.

They continue to kiss.

LORELAI (CON'T): How was California?

They continue to kiss, ignoring her.

LORELAI (CON'T): (uncomfortably) Heard you were going to a Christmas concert of some sort...sounds like fun.

They continue to kiss. Lorelai clears her throat. They continue to kiss even more intensely.

LORELAI (CON'T): Heard there's a new bookstore opening up in town.

RORY and JESS pull apart instantly. JESS puts her down.

RORY: (excitedly) Where?

LORELAI: (shaking her head) You guys are perfect for each other. So Jess, what's with the Halloween costume?

JESS: Got a job. Got one for Rory, too. Except I'll be getting paid and she'll be getting community service hours.

LORELAI: Dressing up like Santa Claus and scaring people?

JESS: Taking pictures at the mall.

RORY: You got me a job as Santa Claus?

JESS: (smiling) I got you a job as Mrs. Claus.

He reaches in a bag on the floor and pulls out a small, skimpy red dress with white fur trimming. RORY'S eyes go wide.

RORY: I'm not wearing that.

LORELAI: That's not Mrs. Claus, that's Eartha Kitt.

JESS: Oh come on. You've got like two weeks to finish your community service. How many more hours do you need?

RORY sighs.

RORY: Twenty.

JESS: It's perfect.

RORY looks at the dress in dismay. JESS shakes it around excitedly. RORY frowns.

JESS (CON'T): You get to wear tights with it.

RORY hesitantly takes the dress and holds it against herself.

JESS (CON'T): Come on Rory, do it for the kids.

LORELAI: Yeah Jerry, do it for the kids.

RORY gives her a dirty look. JESS smirks.

LORELAI (CON'T): Sorry. Just trying to be supportive.

RORY sighs.

RORY: You sure I can get legit community service hours for this?

JESS: Santa's helpers are all volunteer positions.

RORY: And what exactly do I have to do in this...(holding it up) thing?

JESS: Sit the kids down on my lap and make sure they don't pull my beard off.

RORY looks at LORELAI for her opinion.

LORELAI: Just think, you'd get to listen to all those kids tell Jess about how books are overrated and they'd rather have toys and DVDs and plastic surgery for Christmas.

JESS smiles at LORELAI, then looks back at RORY.

RORY: (hesitantly) Fine. But only because it's for a good cause! And I'm not wearing this thing in public, I'm changing when I get to the mall.

JESS smiles and kisses her.

LORELAI: Oh boy. Hey guys, before you start doing that again...

RORY and JESS stop and look at LORELAI.

LORELAI (CON'T): I was just wondering...Jess...see, Luke is going to decorate the house later...Stars Hollow Decorating Contest...something Taylor thought up...anyway, so I was wondering, you know how Luke isn't very fond of Christmas or decorating contests or any type of contest really...he's gonna be in a bad mood stringing up all those lights, and I'm sure he could use a hand. So maybe you could...

JESS: Sure.

LORELAI: (surprised) Really?

JESS: Yeah. What time?

LORELAI: (in shock) Uh, Luke's coming over around six.

JESS: Okay.

LORELAI: (stunned) Well...okay. Thanks.

JESS nods.

LORELAI (CON'T): Well I'm gonna go back in the kitchen and finish gathering all the lights and decorations.

RORY and JESS smile at LORELAI as she walks into the kitchen.

RORY: So...

JESS: So...

RORY: Where were we?

JESS smiles, cups RORY'S face in his hands, and kisses her. She wraps her arms around him and they fall onto the couch.

CUT TO:

EXT. LORELAI'S HOUSE -- LATER

LUKE and JESS stand outside. JESS has changed into normal clothes. A large Santa, two smaller Santas, a sleigh, reindeer, elves, candy canes, and lights all lie on the porch. LORELAI stands on the porch explaining to LUKE and JESS where she wants everything to go.

LORELAI: And the lights go all the way around the house, line every window, line the doorway...and I don't really care where else you put them but make sure you use them all. Just make sure it looks better than Kirk's house.

JESS: (to LUKE) What's Kirk's house look like?

LUKE: Babes In Toyland.

JESS: We're screwed.

LUKE: Yep.

LORELAI: Okay any questions?

JESS: Where does the big Santa go?

LORELAI: On the porch. The medium sized one goes in the yard, and the small one goes on the roof.

LUKE: Or we could just have Jess go up there in his costume.

LORELAI: You know, I thought of that, but then we'd have to bring food and water up the ladder for him every day. Way too much effort.

LUKE and JESS look at each other, scared at how serious LORELAI sounded.

LORELAI (CON'T): Okay, well, you two boys have fun.

LORELAI goes inside the house.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

LORELAI walks in the front door. RORY is lying on the couch reading A CHRISTMAS CAROL. LORELAI sits down next to her.

LORELAI: Hey Mrs. Claus.

RORY: (without looking up from her book) Hey.

LORELAI: So.

RORY: (reading) So.

LORELAI: What's up?

RORY: (reading) Reading.

LORELAI: I see. Trying to get in the spirit for your job?

RORY: (looking up) Don't even talk about that. The thought of being in that outfit in front of the whole mall- I can't believe Jess guilt tripped me with "it's for the kids."

LORELAI: He just wants to see you in a skimpy outfit and call you his wife.

RORY: (looking back down at the book) I know.

LORELAI: So...have you heard from Logan lately?

RORY: Nope.

LORELAI: Oh. Well you know my mother's party...

RORY: He's going to be there?

LORELAI: Yeah...sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was just hoping you'd talk to him yourself and...

RORY: And...

LORELAI: And tell him that he doesn't have to come.

RORY: You're kidding, right?

LORELAI: No.

RORY: Grandma and Grandpa have practically planned our wedding. It's on Martha's Vineyard, the bridesmaids are wearing blue...

LORELAI: The thought of you even being engaged to that jerk makes me nauseous.

RORY: Well, to Grandma and Grandpa, that's the perfect life for me. That's their way of making sure I don't turn out like you.

LORELAI: Instead you'll turn out like Nicole Kidman.

RORY gives her a funny look.

LORELAI (CON'T): Stepford Wives, not Eyes Wide Shut.

RORY: They do have great sex in the middle of the afternoon.

LORELAI: So when are you gonna tell him?

RORY: Tell him what?

LORELAI: That you're seeing Jess.

RORY: I'm not seeing Jess.

LORELAI: Oh, really. So the jumping on top of him and making out, is that some kind of traditional North Pole greeting? Because in America, only lovers do that. People who are seeing each other.

RORY: We're just having fun. No strings attached.

LORELAI: No strings attached.

RORY: No strings attached.

LORELAI: What is it with you and no strings attached relationships? Is it all about sex? I didn't raise you to be like this…

RORY: No, it's not like that at all. Not with Jess anyway.

LORELAI: And Jess is okay with you being with Logan?

RORY: We're not exclusive. We're not boyfriend-girlfriend, hence the no strings attached part. So yes, he's okay with me seeing Logan or anyone else.

LORELAI: So who's he seeing?

RORY: What?

LORELAI: I mean, if you guys are seeing other people, and you're seeing Logan, then who else is Jess seeing?

RORY looks uncomfortable. There is a pause.

RORY: (quietly) I don't know. I mean, I haven't asked him if he's seeing other people...I'm sure he isn't, he's too busy to be seeing other people, working at the diner and going back and forth to California...Have you seen him with other people?

LORELAI: (shaking her head quickly) No...Rory I think you're missing my point here...

RORY puts her book down and sits up. LORELAI turns to face her.

LORELAI (CON'T): Let's talk friend-to-friend for a minute. Not mother and daughter.

RORY nods.

LORELAI (CON'T): Now I know that this was a long time ago...and we hated Jess back then...but when he told you he loved you and drove away...do you think he meant it?

There is a pause. RORY looks away.

RORY: (sighing heavily) That's not the only time he said it.

LORELAI: (stunned) Oh. When else?

There is a long pause.

RORY: The night we had sex.

LORELAI looks slightly uncomfortable at the mention of this.

RORY (CON'T): Still friend-to-friend?

LORELAI: (trying to cover her discomfort) Still friend-to-friend. Did he say it before, during, or after?

RORY: (slowly) Before, during, and after.

LORELAI: (lightheartedly) Wow. He really loves you.

RORY smiles.

RORY: I hope so.

LORELAI: Honey, you gotta choose one of them.

RORY: I know.

LORELAI: You're gonna break his heart if you keep going like this. And although Jess may not be my favorite person in the world, he doesn't deserve that.

RORY: (quietly) I know.

LORELAI: You have a knack for falling in love with two people at the same time.

RORY smirks.

LORELAI (CON'T): The funny thing is...Jess is always one of them. Think about that.

LORELAI gets up off the couch and heads towards the kitchen. RORY sighs and stares at the floor.


	4. Polos and Jeans, It's Over

CUT TO:

EXT. LORELAI'S HOUSE -- A SHORT WHILE LATER

JESS stands on the roof arranging decorations. LUKE is up on a ladder stringing lights.

LUKE: Would you hold this for a minute?

JESS walks over towards LUKE, kneels down and holds the string of lights in place. LUKE begins to climb down the ladder. 

LUKE (CON'T): So you came back early. Rory must have been happy.

JESS: Where's my car?

LUKE: What?

JESS: Where's my car?

LUKE: How should I know? I thought you were driving back.

JESS: Oh, give me a break.

LUKE stops climbing down the ladder and looks up to face JESS.

LUKE: I'm serious, I didn't take your car.

JESS: Whatever.

LUKE: You think I drove to California, to a place I've never been to, went to Jimmy's house, got in your car and drove away?

JESS: No, I think you had my car shipped to Connecticut, stuck it in a garage somewhere, and you're gonna tell me where it is right now.

LUKE: Why the hell would I do that?

JESS: How should I know? Do I have to hold this all day?

LUKE: No...

LUKE climbs down the ladder and moves it over a few inches to the side. He climbs back up, takes the lights from JESS, and begins stringing them.

JESS: You saw Shane, didn't you?

LUKE: If I did, does that automatically mean I stole your car?

JESS: Yes.

LUKE: She may have stopped by the diner.

JESS: Great. She have her kid with her?

LUKE: Jess...

JESS: Did you make him a bowl of Frosted Flakes, sit him down, tell him what a deadbeat his twenty-one year old father is?

LUKE: She came alone. She wanted to talk to you.

JESS: How long do I have?

LUKE: What do you mean?

JESS: How long do I have before Rory finds out? Because I'm betting that you told Lorelai because you're sleeping with her now so you tell her everything. 

LUKE: Jess...

JESS: And Lorelai tells Rory everything, so how long do I have before Rory finds out and my life is over? 

LUKE: (frustrated) Jess...

JESS: A week? A day? Can you at least find out not if, but when Lorelai plans to tell Rory?

LUKE: She's not gonna tell her.

JESS: Please.

LUKE: She's not gonna tell her because there's nothing to tell. Have you even entertained the possibility that you aren't the only guy Shane slept with when she was in high school?

JESS is silent. He continues to decorate the roof.

LUKE (CON'T): She's giving you a chance to talk to Shane for yourself and figure out what's going on. No one's jumping to conclusions here.

JESS: If I agree to talk to her, will you tell me where my car is?

LUKE: I didn't take your car.

JESS: Then who did, Santa Claus?

LUKE: Maybe your mom thought it would be a nice idea to ship it for you for your Christmas present.

JESS: (sarcastically) How thoughtful.

LUKE: I'll call her tomorrow and ask her.

JESS: Then we'll hold hands and skip afterwards.

LUKE smiles. He climbs down the ladder and walks towards the porch to get more decorations. He hears a loud thud. 

LUKE: Jess?

LUKE runs back out onto the lawn to see that JESS has fallen down on the roof.

LUKE (CON'T): Are you okay?

JESS: (embarrassed, getting up) I'm fine. There's ice up here.

JESS stands up and brushes himself off. The side of his forehead is bleeding near his scalp.

LUKE: Aw, jeez, you're bleeding. Come on down, we'll get you cleaned up.

LUKE pushes the ladder towards JESS.

JESS: (grabbing the ladder): I got it.

CUT TO:

INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE -- MOMENTS LATER

JESS walks in the front door. His forehead is still bleeding. LORELAI walks into the living room.

LORELAI: Oh my God.

JESS: (angrily) I'm fine.

LORELAI: (concerned) Did you and Rory get into another fight?

JESS gives her a dirty look as he pushes past her and walks into the kitchen. LORELAI tries to hold back a laugh as she follows him.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN -- MOMENTS LATER

JESS is sitting at the kitchen table. LORELAI sits next to him, dabbing the wound with a cotton ball and some alcohol. There is a box of band-aids and other first aid supplies on the table.

JESS: (flinching) Ow!

LORELAI: Big baby. 

LORELAI puts down the cotton ball and reaches for the box of band-aids. She puts a large one over the cut. RORY walks into the kitchen wearing pajamas. She gasps when she sees JESS.

RORY: What happened?

She takes JESS'S face in her hands and turns him to face her.

JESS: I slipped on the roof.

RORY: You poor thing! Does it hurt?

JESS: Not much.

LORELAI: I'm gonna go outside and see how Luke is doing with the decorations.

CUT TO:

EXT. LORELAI'S HOUSE -- MOMENTS LATER

LUKE and LORELAI stand outside looking at the house. There are decorations and lights everywhere. Everything is lit up. The lights are playing Joy To The World in beeping sounds as they blink. LORELAI stares at the house in awe.

LORELAI: (smiling) Wow. It's beautiful.

LUKE smiles at LORELAI. They kiss.

LORELAI (CON'T): We're gonna kick Kirk's ass.

CUT TO:

INT. LORELAI'S KITCHEN -- THE NEXT DAY

LORELAI is making coffee. She is dressed for work. RORY stumbles out of her bedroom groggily. She is wearing a long sleeved camouflage shirt and black sweat pants. She sits down at the kitchen table.

RORY: (groggily) Coffee.

LORELAI: You betcha.

She carries the coffee pot and two cups to the table.

LORELAI (CON"T): (pouring RORY a cup of coffee) That's an interesting look.

RORY: What? (she looks down at her clothes) Oh. It's-

LORELAI: Let me guess. The Jess Mariano Collection. Very popular this fall. I think I saw Heidi Klum wearing a leather jacket and a big black watch on this month's cover of Vogue.

RORY: I ran out of clothes. I only have like, two outfits here. The rest are at Grandma's.

LORELAI: Well, maybe today would be a good day to go and pack your stuff.

RORY: I guess so. I didn't really have any plans.

LORELAI: What time does your community service start?

RORY: (smiling smugly) Seven. I suppose Jess and I could take Luke's truck and go get everything today.

LORELAI: (uneasily) Uh, Jess and you?

RORY: Yeah.

LORELAI: Why does Jess have to go?

RORY: Because I can't carry all those boxes myself.

LORELAI: What about Lane?

RORY: You think Lane can carry heavy boxes better than Jess?

LORELAI makes a face and sips her coffee.

LORELAI: I suppose you're right. Moving is sort of a man's job. How about Lane's boyfriend?

RORY rolls her eyes.

LORELAI (CON'T): It's just the idea of my mother seeing you and Jess together alone inside her house...Well, actually, it's kind of amusing.

RORY: We won't be alone inside her house. We'll be inside the pool house. 

LORELAI: (sipping her coffee) All right. Well, I've gotta run. Have fun today. Give my mother my warmest regards.

LORELAI stands up and gets her jacket. She puts on her jacket, grabs her purse, and leaves.

LORELAI (CON'T): (O.S.) (yelling) Rory!

CUT TO:

EXT. LORELAI'S HOUSE -- MOMENTS LATER

RORY and LORELAI stand outside in front of the house. There is a Mercedes Benz and a Rolls Royce parked in the driveway. Both have large bows on them. RORY and LORELAI stare at the cars, horrified.

LORELAI: (quietly) Jess really outdid himself this year.

RORY: (worried) I don't think they're from Jess.

CUT TO:

INT. POOL HOUSE -- AFTERNOON

RORY and JESS are packing RORY'S things up at the pool house. There are boxes everywhere. The place is empty except for furniture and the walls are bare. JESS tapes up a box. RORY stands and sighs, exhausted.

RORY: I think that's everything.

JESS: Do you really wear all these clothes?

RORY: Yeah.

JESS: Some of them are just so... 

RORY: So...

JESS: (looking for the words) So...not you.

RORY: Of course they're me, they're my clothes.

JESS: (pointing to an open box with clothes sticking out of it) That jacket looks like it came out of your grandmother's closet.

RORY: Since when have you looked in my grandmother's closet?

JESS: What happened to...polos and jeans? The way you used to dress in high school.

RORY: I still wear polos and jeans.

JESS: When?

RORY: All the time.

JESS: I didn't see a single polo in your closet.

They walk around looking for anything they forgot to pack. They walk into RORY's bedroom. It is empty except for the bed and some furniture. JESS gestures towards the bed.

JESS (CON'T): Should we take the bedsheets?

RORY: Nah, they're my Grandma's. Not really my taste anyway.

JESS: Not unless you've aged about ninety years.

RORY and JESS smile at each other.

JESS (CON'T): (sitting on the bed) So. Bet you did a lot of interesting things on this bed.

RORY: I think we should start putting everything in the truck.

JESS: How many times?

RORY: What?

JESS: How many times on this bed in this spot right here where I'm sitting?

RORY: Jess, I don't wanna get into this.

JESS: Come on, how many times?

RORY: Does it matter?

JESS: Ten? Twenty?

RORY: Why are you doing this Jess?

JESS: I just wanna know.

RORY: How many times did you sleep with Shane?

JESS: (angry) What?

RORY: If you wanna know how many times I slept with Logan-

JESS: (angry) Why would you bring that up?

RORY: (with a pause) I...I don't know.

JESS: What made you think of that?

RORY looks around nervously.

JESS (CON'T): That's ancient history! (looking to the side) I haven't even seen her in years!

RORY: (quietly, looking down) I know.

JESS: Are you accusing me of something?

RORY: No!

JESS: Did someone tell you something?

RORY: No, no one told me anything...Jess I'm sorry, it just slipped out...We're fighting, I hate this.

JESS: (quietly) Me too.

RORY sits on JESS'S lap. He wraps his arm around her. She leans her head down towards his. They rub foreheads and noses. She leans in and they kiss softly. The kiss becomes more intense. JESS wraps his other arm around RORY. She wraps her arms around him. He lies down onto the bed, pulling her on top of him. They continue to kiss passionately. They stop to catch their breath. RORY lies on top of JESS with her face about an inch away from his. They both breathe heavily.

RORY: This beats fighting.

JESS: (smiling) Make love, not war.

JESS starts kissing her neck.

RORY: Jess, not here.

JESS: (continuing to kiss her neck) Why not?

RORY: Because.

JESS: Because...? Come on Rory.

JESS kisses RORY hard and tangles his fingers in her hair. She hesitates and then kisses him back. She presses her body against his and kicks her shoes off.

CUT TO:

EXT. POOL HOUSE -- MEANWHILE

EMILY knocks at the door to the pool house. She is holding a small box. There is no response. She opens the door.

CUT TO:

INT. POOL HOUSE -- CONTINUOUS

EMILY: Rory?

She looks around the room.

EMILY (CON'T): (loudly) I just came to bring you some things you left in the main house...Rory are you here?

She walks around looking for RORY.

EMILY (CON'T): You know, I'm not angry with you for moving out...I think it's good for you to go live with your mother.

EMILY looks around, frustrated.

EMILY (CON'T): Rory would you come out here please?

EMILY waits a moment for a response. She hears giggling in the distance. She puts the box down and walks towards RORY'S room.

CUT TO:

INT. POOL HOUSE BEDROOM -- CONTINUOUS

RORY is on top of JESS. They are still kissing. She takes off his shirt. They kiss more. EMILY opens the door and gasps.

CUT TO:

INT. MALL CENTER -- LATER THAT DAY

The mall is decorated with Christmas decorations everywhere and a large Christmas tree in the center. Many children and parents are waiting in line in a roped off area. Jingle Bells plays in the background. JESS, dressed as Santa Claus, sits in a big green chair as a child sits on his lap and begins to tell him what he wants for Christmas. A girl dressed as an elf takes their picture and helps him off his lap. RORY, dressed as Mrs. Claus, stands off to the side and appears to be on break. She holds her cell phone to her ear.

INTERCUT PHONE CONVERASATION:

CUT TO:

INT. DRAGONFLY INN -- CONTINUOUS

LORELAI stands behind the desk sorting through papers and holding the phone to her ear.

LORELAI: (into the phone) So let me get this straight. My mother walked in on you and Jess making out on the bed.

RORY: Yep.

LORELAI: Wow. For some reason instead of scolding you for making out with Jess on the bed, all I can think about is how upset my mother's face must have looked.

RORY: She turned fifteen different shades of red.

LORELAI: From embarrassment?

RORY: From anger. Jess, on the other hand, was embarrassed.

LORELAI: Please tell me he had clothes on.

RORY: He had pants on...sort of. 

LORELAI: And you, were you clothed?

RORY: Yes, I was clothed.

LORELAI: So how bad could it have been?

RORY: What?

LORELAI: I mean, if you guys both had clothes on, most of them anyway, it couldn't have been that bad right? It wasn't like she walked in on Taylor Rain and Lloyd Banks on the set of Groupie Love.

RORY: How do you know about Taylor Rain and Lloyd Banks?

LORELAI: I saw Lane.

RORY: It was more like something from The Bedford Diaries.

LORELAI: That's bad. 

RORY: Yeah, it was pretty bad.

LORELAI: Is it just me or does the guy on that show look just like Jess?

RORY: (smiling) It's his twin. I thought I was crazy.

LORELAI: (smiling) So what did my mom say?

RORY: You mean, how loud did she scream?

LORELAI: I mean what did she scream?

RORY: I don't know...how much I've disappointed her, how I'm going to end up pregnant...

LORELAI: Gee, that sounds familiar.

RORY sees LOGAN in the distance standing in line with two small children. 

RORY: I gotta go. Bye.

END PHONE CONVERSATION

CUT TO:

INT. MALL CENTER -- CONTINUOUS

RORY walks over towards LOGAN. He smiles as she approaches.

LOGAN: (happily) Ace.

RORY: (nervously) Hi.

LOGAN: How are you?

RORY: I'm okay.

LOGAN: (gesturing towards the children) These are my cousins Phil and Jackie. So, what are you doing here?

RORY: Finishing up my community service.

LOGAN: Ah. Well, at least the outfit's cute.

RORY: (looking down) Yeah. It's fun. Except for when they try to beat up Santa, then I have to pull them off, then some of them try to beat up me...

LOGAN: Kids are rough these days.

RORY: Yeah, they are.

She looks around nervously.

LOGAN: So...we should talk.

RORY: Yeah, we should.

LOGAN: Preferably when there's not screaming kids everywhere and you're wearing a much less distracting outfit. 

RORY: The cars, Logan...

LOGAN: I thought you could use a new set of wheels.

RORY: You shouldn't have.

LOGAN: It's Christmas.

RORY: I know, but...

LOGAN: What's on your neck?

RORY: What? Where?

LOGAN pushes her hair back to reveal a dark hickey on RORY'S neck. LOGAN pulls a compact mirror out of his pocket to show RORY. RORY'S expression is blank as she stares into the mirror.

RORY: (with tears welling up in her eyes) I can explain...

LOGAN: Can't wait to hear it. Who is he?

RORY: No one. There's no one, I just...

LOGAN is next in line. The elf girl leads the children to Santa. LOGAN watches them get on his lap. His eyes squint and his face turns into an angry expression.

JESS: (to the children, in a deep voice) And what do you two want for Christmas this year?

LOGAN: (to RORY) Is that Luke's nephew?

RORY looks down with tears in her eyes. She sniffles.

RORY: (quietly) Yes.

LOGAN: I should have known.

RORY: Logan, I can explain!

LOGAN: (yelling) Explain what? That you cheated on me with your cousin?

RORY is silent. She crosses her arms and stares at the floor.

LOGAN (CON'T): (yelling) Don't lie to me Rory. What's on your neck, tell me it's not from him.

RORY: (crying, quietly) It's from him.

LOGAN: (angrily) I can't believe this. I gave up everything for you. Do you know how many girls would kill to be in your position? Do you know how many girls would kill to be with me? I could have any girl at Yale I want and I chose you. 

RORY: (crying) I'm sorry.

There is a pause. LOGAN runs his fingers through his hair.

LOGAN: What are you supposed to be anyway, Santa's Little Mistress?

RORY: (looking away, sniffling) I'm Mrs. Claus.

He turns to look at JESS and the children. They are getting off his lap.

JESS: (loudly, in a deep voice) Ho ho ho!

LOGAN: Your husband's calling you.

LOGAN storms away. RORY crosses her arms and looks away. Tears stream down her cheeks.


	5. Sleeping Over, Christmas Dinner

CUT TO:

INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT -- LATER THAT EVENING

LUKE is wrapping some presents. JESS walks in holding his Santa costume in his hands.

LUKE: Hey.

JESS: Hey. Any word on my car?

JESS opens the fridge and looks inside, tossing his Santa costume on the floor.

LUKE: Not yet. Liz didn't get it shipped back. But I called a few shipping companies and they're supposed to get back to me tomorrow. How was work?

JESS: Fine.

JESS pulls out the orange juice and drinks out of the bottle.

LUKE: You had a visitor today.

JESS: Let me guess.

He puts the orange juice back in the fridge and closes the door.

LUKE: She left her number.

JESS: Great.

LUKE: Here.

LUKE gives JESS a piece of paper. He folds it up and puts it in his shirt pocket. He picks up his Santa costume and heads towards his dresser. He grabs a bag off the floor and starts throwing clothes inside. 

LUKE (CON'T): So I heard about Rory and Logan.

JESS: Yup.

LUKE: Lorelai mentioned it.

JESS: (packing) Figured.

LUKE: Aren't you happy?

JESS: You know what I'm even more happy about? The fact that since you're dating Lorelai, you know everything before I do, because Rory tells Lorelai and then she tells you. Then Rory tells me.

LUKE: I'm sorry Jess, I figured you already knew.

JESS: Oh I knew. I saw it happen.

LUKE: I didn't know.

JESS: He was yelling at her and he made her cry. I couldn't hear their conversation, but I got the gist.

JESS looks in his dresser mirror and begins putting gel in his hair.

LUKE: You going somewhere?

JESS: (putting gel in his hair) Yeah.

LUKE: It's twelve o' clock.

JESS lifts up his shirt and puts on deodorant.

JESS: Thanks, I didn't know how to read the clock.

LUKE: Where are you going?

JESS: Rory's.

LUKE: What's the bag for?

JESS sprays a small amount of cologne on his neck and shoulders.

JESS: Take a lucky guess.

LUKE: You're gonna sleep over?

JESS: You just figured out Blue's Clues.

JESS slings the bag over his shoulder and heads towards the door.

LUKE: Is Lorelai okay with this?

JESS: Does it matter?

LUKE: It's Lorelai's house.

JESS: And Rory's twenty-one! She doesn't need to ask permission anymore.

LUKE: This thing between Rory and Logan is so recent. Don't you think you should give Rory some time?

JESS: Time for what?

LUKE: Time to mourn!

JESS: No one died! They broke up! And now she has me.

LUKE: Rory's a lucky girl.

JESS: I'll see you in the morning.

JESS grabs his jacket and leaves.

CUT TO:

INT. RORY'S BEDROOM -- A SHORT WHILE LATER

JESS is lying in RORY'S bed covered with blankets reading a book. RORY stands in front of her dresser mirror wearing a nightgown. She is touching her stomach and frowning.

RORY: Jess?

JESS: (looking up from the book) Yeah?

RORY: Serious question?

JESS: (closing the book) What's up?

RORY: Don't lie, okay?

JESS: I won't.

RORY: Do you think I've gained weight?

JESS: Since when?

RORY: In the past couple months.

There is a pause. JESS thinks for a moment.

JESS: Honestly?

RORY: Honestly.

JESS: Yeah, you gained a few pounds.

RORY: That's what I thought. I'm so sorry.

JESS: Sorry for what?

RORY: I'm gonna lose it, I swear.

JESS: (looking at her like she's crazy) Why?

RORY: I've just been so stressed out lately...I've been eating too much. I'm gonna start exercising and I swear I'll lose weight. I wanna be attractive for you. I'm so sorry.

JESS: What are you talking about?

RORY: I look horrible.

JESS: (gesturing with his fingers) Come here.

RORY walks towards the bed. She sits down next to JESS. He sits up leans towards her.

JESS (CON'T): You look better now than you have ever have before.

RORY: You're just saying that.

JESS: I'm not. You might have gained weight, but you gained it in all the right places.

RORY: Really?

JESS: Any girl would kill for hips like that.

RORY: They're huge.

JESS: They're perfect.

JESS leans down and starts kissing up her thigh.

RORY: Are you sure you're still attracted to me?

JESS: (looking up) You want me to show you how attracted to you I am?

RORY smiles softly.

RORY: (quietly) You have work in the morning.

JESS sighs and sits up.

JESS: You're really broken up with Logan?

RORY: (nodding) Yes.

JESS: I'm sorry about the hickey.

RORY: It's not your fault.

There is a moment of silence.

JESS: So.

RORY: So.

JESS: When do I get my chance?

RORY: (smiling) You get it now. 

JESS: So we're back together.

RORY: Back together.

JESS: No Dean, No Logan.

RORY: I'm all yours.

JESS smiles and kisses RORY hard.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN -- MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

LORELAI stands in the kitchen wearing a bathrobe drinking a glass of water. She takes a few sips then pours the remaining water into the sink. She puts the glass down on the counter and yawns. She begins to head back upstairs. She passes the bathroom and the light is on. JESS turns off the light and groggily walks out of the bathroom wearing boxers. He almost bumps into LORELAI.

LORELAI: (covering her eyes) Whoa. I'm sorry.

She closes her bathrobe.

LORELAI (CON'T): I guess I should have knocked before I walked through my own hallway. 

JESS: I was just...

LORELAI: (shielding her eyes): It's okay. No need to explain.

JESS: You don't have to cover your eyes, I'm not naked.

LORELAI: (beginning to walk away, covering her eyes) No, that's quite okay. I wouldn't want you to see me in my underwear, so I'm sure that goes both ways.

JESS nods.

LORELAI (CON'T): (covering her eyes) Well I'm gonna go upstairs now...goodnight Jess.

JESS: Night.

LORELAI runs upstairs. JESS runs his fingers through his messy hair and walks back towards RORY'S room.

CUT TO:

INT. LORELAI'S KITCHEN -- MORNING

RORY sits at the kitchen table drinking some coffee, eating a donut, and reading the newspaper. LORELAI walks in dressed for work.

LORELAI: Good morning angel.

RORY: Good morning.

LORELAI: What are you eating?

RORY: A donut.

LORELAI: Since when do we have donuts?

RORY: Jess brought them over a little while ago.

LORELAI: Jess brought them over.

RORY: Yep.

LORELAI: That's funny. 

RORY: Funny ha-ha?

LORELAI: Funny that I just saw him here a few hours ago and he already left and came back and left again. Jess has been here a lot lately.

RORY: Oh...yeah. 

LORELAI: I imagine he told you about the incident.

RORY: He may have mentioned something.

LORELAI: Why didn't you tell me he was sleeping over?

RORY: I don't know.

LORELAI: Maybe you thought I'd get mad?

RORY: You don't tell me when Luke is sleeping over.

LORELAI: Luke and I are engaged. And Luke doesn't walk around the house in his underwear in the middle of the night.

RORY: He was using the bathroom.

LORELAI: Well I'm buying him a bathrobe for Christmas because I never want to see that again.

RORY: Are you mad?

LORELAI: At my twenty-one year old daughter who is not going to college and just broke up with her boyfriend for inviting a guy she knows I don't have the best track record with to sleep over my house? No, I'm not mad at all.

RORY: Please don't be mad.

LORELAI: Were you at least safe?

RORY: What? You don't think...no, Mom, it's not even like that we just slept. We were exhausted we had a long day at work- and after getting caught by grandma I was not in the mood for anything like that.

LORELAI: Are you sure?

RORY: Positive.

LORELAI: So you and Logan are broken up.

RORY: Right.

LORELAI sits down and grabs a donut.

LORELAI: And you and Jess are...

RORY: Together.

LORELAI: Together?

RORY: Yes.

LORELAI: As in exclusively together? No other guys?

RORY: No other guys.

LORELAI: Well...I'm happy for you.

RORY: Really?

LORELAI: Yes.

RORY: Thank you.

LORELAI: You're welcome.

There is a moment of silence.

LORELAI (CON'T): We need some ground rules.

RORY: What?

LORELAI: If you're going to date Jess and live in this house, there need to be some ground rules.

RORY: Like what?

LORELAI: No unauthorized sleepovers.

RORY: What?

LORELAI: I'm not saying he can't sleep over...but I just want you to run it by me first. I don't want another event like last night.

RORY: Fair enough. 

LORELAI: No loud sex.

RORY: We're not even having sex! We only had sex that one night.

LORELAI: Well if you do. I don't want to hear it.

RORY: Got it.

LORELAI: You will call me when you're sleeping over Luke's so I don't stay up all night worrying.

RORY: Of course.

LORELAI: You will be careful. In every way. You won't let him hurt you again.

RORY: I won't.

LORELAI: And if he does, you give me permission to rip his head off.

RORY: Surely you can think of something more painful than that.

LORELAI smiles.

RORY (CON'T): I don't want you to think that just because Jess sleeps over we're having sex.

LORELAI: I know.

RORY: Logan and I did it all the time. That was the basis of our relationship. Jess and I are different. We have an intellectual relationship. And we're just getting to know each other again. Sex would make things way too complicated right now.

LORELAI: I'm glad to hear that.

RORY: But if and when we are. I will tell you before it happens. If you want me to.

LORELAI: I would like that.

RORY: (smiling) So you can go buy earplugs.

CUT TO:

INT. MALL CENTER -- DAY

The mall is crowded with people waiting to see Santa. Kids sit on JESS'S lap. RORY stands near the line handing out candy canes. SHANE and her son appear. SHANE walks towards RORY. JESS appears not to notice and continues working.

RORY: (happily) Hey!

SHANE: Hey, what are you doing here?

RORY: Community service...I'm Mrs. Claus.

SHANE: Community service? What did you do?

RORY: It's a long story.

SHANE: We all make mistakes. (whispers in her ear) Is that Jess?

RORY: Yeah. 

SHANE: I barely recognized him with the beard.

RORY: (To GUS) Hi Gus, want a candy cane?

GUS hides behind SHANE'S leg.

SHANE: Don't be shy.

GUS takes the candy cane slowly.

SHANE (CON'T): Say thank you.

GUS: (quietly) Thank you.

SHANE: (smiling) He's so shy.

RORY: It's okay. In a few years you won't be able to get to him to stop talking.

SHANE: I know.

RORY: So you Christmas shopping?

SHANE: Actually I was looking for a job. I know the mall hires a lot of extra people this time of year and I just got fired from the place I was working.

RORY: That's terrible, how can they fire you at Christmas time?

SHANE: It happens.

RORY: Hey. I actually just came upon a pretty big sum of money. Why don't I buy some t-o-y-s for G-u-s? What does he want?

SHANE: Oh no, I couldn't accept that.

RORY: Come on. Let me at least buy him something.

SHANE smiles.

SHANE: If you insist. I'll give you my address.

RORY: Great.

SHANE pulls a pen and a scrap of paper out of her purse and scribbles her address on it. She hands the paper to RORY.

RORY (CON'T): Thanks. I should get back to work.

SHANE: Okay. Bye Rory. (to JESS) Bye Santa!

JESS turns to see SHANE and his eyes grow wide.

CUT TO:

EXT. ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE -- LATER THAT EVENING

LORELAI, LUKE, and RORY stand outside the front door. All are dressed very nicely.

LORELAI: You ring the doorbell.

RORY: Why should I ring the doorbell?

LORELAI: You're not the one who has to explain her engagement that she hid from her parents.

RORY: You're not the one who got caught making out with Jess in a bed.

LUKE: What?

LORELAI rings the doorbell. RORY gives her a dirty look.

LORELAI: I didn't want to have to be the one to explain that.

EMILY answers the door.

EMILY: Hello, hello, come in, come in.

The three enter. A maid takes their coats.

EMILY (CON'T): Luke it's a pleasure to see you again. I'm glad you could make it.

LUKE: I'm happy to be here.

EMILY leads them into the living room. RICHARD and a few other guests are sitting having drinks. They sit on the couch.

RICHARD: Hello Lorelai, Rory. Luke. (shaking his hand) Glad you could join us. Can I get you all a drink?

LORELAI: Martini shaken not stirred.

LUKE: I'll have a beer, thanks.

RICHARD: Rory, can I get you something?

RORY: Just some water would be fine.

RICHARD: Oh, you're old enough to drink now. Have a cocktail.

RORY: A water is fine. 

RICHARD: Well all right. Lorelai, Rory, you both know Alan. Alan this is Luke Danes, Lorelai's fiancé.

LORELAI: (whispering to RORY) They've taken that well.

RORY: (whispering) A little too well if you ask me.

RICHARD continues to introduce the rest of the room. RORY gets up and walks over towards EMILY.

RORY (CON'T): Grandma, can I talk to you?

EMILY: Of course you can talk to me.

RORY: I'm sorry about what happened the other day.

EMILY: Rory...

RORY: And I don't think that Logan is coming tonight.

EMILY: Oh no? Is he sick?

RORY: No Grandma...Logan and I broke up.

EMILY: Oh. Well I'm sorry to hear that.

RORY: (taking a deep breath) I'm with Jess now.

EMILY'S expression is blank.

EMILY: Richard, would you bring me another glass of champagne please?

RORY: He's a really nice guy. I know you had a bad experience with him, but if you would just get to know him...

EMILY: (with a fake smile) You should go sit down Rory. It's not polite to have private conversations at a dinner party.

CUT TO:

EXT. ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE -- LATER

LORELAI, RORY, and LUKE come outside. LORELAI holds a bag of apple tarts and is eating one. 

RORY: That was awful.

LORELAI: It wasn't that bad.

RORY: Besides the apple tarts.

LORELAI: Then it was awful.

LUKE: I don't get it. Everyone was nice to us. They seem to have taken the engagement pretty well.

LORELAI: (with a laugh) They're my parents. They don't take anything well. They're just too prim and proper and proud to get angry in front of all their friends. The fact that they didn't yell at me and take all their anger out on me tonight just means that they will have even more bottled up anger and resentment towards me the next time they see me.

RORY: I think I have a lot of future resentment coming myself. Grandma wouldn't even look at me when I told her I was with Jess.

LORELAI: (holding out the bag) Apple tart?

CUT TO:

INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM -- A FEW DAYS LATER

The living room is decorated and a large Christmas tree stands in the corner. LORELAI sits on the couch with PAUL ANKA, wrapping presents. Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses plays in the background. RORY walks in.

LORELAI: Oh, don't look!

RORY: Oops.

RORY covers her eyes. LORELAI looks around.

LORELAI: Nevermind. This is all for Luke. You can look.

RORY: Ooh, what'd you get him?

LORELAI: Some clothes, new fishing poles, some new flannels, a gift card to Home Depot. Some other things.

RORY: All very Lukeish.

LORELAI: I thought so. What about you, what'd you get Jess?

RORY: It's a surprise.

LORELAI: Tell me!

RORY: I'll give you a hint. It has to do with the mysterious disappearance of that Rolls Royce in the driveway. 

LORELAI: I was wondering where the luxury cars went. So you're giving Jess the Rolls.

RORY: No, but I gave Lane the Benz.

LORELAI: Really? And did she love it?

RORY: Zach wants to trade it in for a Hummer. He says only P. Diddy drives a Mercedes Benz.

LORELAI: Which made Lane even more thrilled about it.

RORY: Exactly.

LORELAI: So tell me what you got Jess.

RORY: No. It's Christmas Eve, you can wait one day. I might even give it to him tonight.

LORELAI: Speaking of tonight, do you have any plans?

RORY: Community service until six.

LORELAI: Well. Liz and TJ asked Luke to ask us if we would like to join them tonight for Christmas Eve dinner.

RORY: That sounds fun.

LORELAI: Really?

RORY: Yeah, why not?

LORELAI: Oh, no reason.

RORY: What?

LORELAI: You do know that Liz is Jess's mom, right?

RORY: So I've heard.

LORELAI: And you aren't at all nervous to meet her?

RORY: I've met her on several occasions.

LORELAI: You've met her briefly. And you weren't dating Jess. Now you're dating Jess and you're going to her house and you're going to have to make conversation with her and pretend to like her floral arrangements and compliment her cooking.

RORY: I'm still missing the scary part here. Just because you and Jess don't get along doesn't mean that Liz and I won't get along. She and I get along just fine. I gotta get going. I'll see you tonight?

LORELAI: Yep. Have fun.

RORY leaves. The doorbell rings. LORELAI gets up and answers it. KIRK stands at the door with a serious expression on his face.

LORELAI (CON'T): Hi Kirk.

KIRK: Hello Lorelai. I don't have time for idle chatter, so I'll get right to the point. As you know, tonight is the judging of the First Annual Stars Hollow House Decorating Contest.

LORELAI: Yes I am aware.

KIRK: I see that you have decorated your house quite a bit.

LORELAI: Yes we have.

KIRK: You don't stand a chance.

LORELAI: Well that's up for the judges to decide, isn't it?

KIRK: This decorating contest means everything to me.

LORELAI: Kirk, it's just a contest.

KIRK: Lulu is going to leave me if we don't win.

LORELAI : What?

KIRK: I haven't gotten her anything for Christmas.

LORELAI: What? Why not?

KIRK: I spent all my money on decorations and now it's Christmas Eve and I haven't gotten her anything.

LORELAI: Why don't you return some of the decorations you bought and buy her something?

KIRK: Then you'll beat me.

LORELAI: Kirk, Christmas isn't about winning a contest. It's about being with the people you love and doing nice things for them. It doesn't necessarily mean spending money on them. But it is nice to buy something special for that special person in your life.

KIRK: Return the decorations and buy Lulu a present.

LORELAI: So crazy it just might work.

KIRK: Thanks Lorelai. You're a great friend.

LORELAI: Uh, no problem Kirk. Merry Christmas. 

KIRK: You should say Happy Holidays. It's more politically correct.

LORELAI: Goodbye Kirk.

CUT TO:

INT. SHANE'S APARTMENT -- AFTERNOON

There is a small kitchen connected to a living room with a couch, TV, and a small Christmas tree in the corner. A few toys are scattered along the floor. SHANE sits on the couch watching TV while GUS colors in a coloring book on the floor. There is a KNOCK at the door. SHANE gets up and answers the door. RORY stands at the door in her Mrs. Claus costume holding a big red bag of presents.

RORY: Merry Christmas!

SHANE gasps.

SHANE: Those aren't all for us.

RORY: Yes they are. Now lead me to your room so we can hide them before he sees them.

SHANE: This isn't fair.

RORY: What isn't fair...by the way, can I come in?

SHANE: Of course.

RORY comes in and SHANE closes the door behind her.

SHANE (CON'T): My room is this way.

SHANE leads RORY into a bedroom and closes the door halfway.

RORY: Where should I put these?

SHANE: On the bed is fine...he won't look in here. 

RORY drops the bag on the bed. SHANE sits on the bed and wipes her eyes.

RORY: What's wrong?

SHANE: I don't know what to say. This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

RORY: Don't say that. I just went out and bought some presents. They were all on sale, I promise.

SHANE: I never did anything nice for you. And here you are helping me in my time of need. You should hate me.

RORY: Well I don't.

SHANE: God bless you Rory. Jess is so lucky to have you.

RORY: Thank you.

SHANE: Hey...I know it's really last minute, and you guys probably have plans...never mind.

RORY: What?

SHANE: Well. If you aren't busy tonight...which I'm sure you are...there's this thing at my church, this live nativity scene. I'm playing the Virgin Mary. I'm sure Jess would have something to say about that. Anyway, if you aren't busy, you should come. It's really nice, and it's only about an hour. You could bring Jess with you.

RORY: What time?

SHANE: Seven. Don't worry about it, I'm sure you're busy. I just thought I'd invite you.

RORY: We'll be there. Both of us.

SHANE: (smiling) Great. I think Jess would really like it.

RORY: I think so too.

CUT TO:

INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT -- EVENING

RORY is dressed up nicely. JESS is dressed casually. They are arguing.

JESS: I'm not going!

RORY: Why not?

JESS: Because I don't like her!

RORY: What did she ever do to you?

JESS: Do you really want me to answer that?

RORY: No, I just want you to come.

JESS: I don't want to see her.

RORY: Why not?

JESS: Because I don't.

RORY: Do you still have feelings for her?

JESS: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.

RORY: Well, what is it then? Tell me!

JESS: Since when did Shane become your best friend? Why didn't you tell me you were hanging out with her?

RORY: Oh yeah, like we hang out every day. We've hung out twice Jess. Once because I gave her a copy of your book and today I went to see her because I brought presents to her son.

JESS'S expression fades.

JESS: Her what?

RORY: Her son Jess, she has a son. His name is Gus.

JESS: You know about her son?

RORY: Of course I know about her-Jess, it's six-fifty five are you coming or not? Because if you're not coming then that's fine, but don't expect me to come to your mom's house tonight either.

There is a moment of silence.

JESS: (quietly) I hate fighting with you.

RORY: (quietly) I know.

JESS: (grabbing his jacket) Let's go.


	6. Not The Father, Surprise Gift

CUT TO:

INT. CHURCH -- A SHORT WHILE LATER

RORY and JESS sit in the audience watching the nativity. RORY rests her head on JESS'S shoulder. RORY looks down at her stomach and is holding one hand on it. JESS is focused on SHANE and the nativity scene.

CUT TO:

INT. CHURCH -- LATER

People are getting up and leaving. RORY wipes tears from her eyes.

RORY: That was beautiful.

JESS: (quietly) Yeah, it was. Hey, I'm gonna go find out where the bathroom is, you gonna be okay?

RORY nods. JESS kisses her forehead and gets up. He makes his way through the crowd of people and approaches SHANE, dressed as Mary.

SHANE: Jess! I'm so glad you came! Did you like it?

JESS scratches his head nervously.

JESS: We should go talk outside.

SHANE: (looking confused) Okay.

CUT TO:

EXT. CHURCH -- MOMENTS LATER

JESS and SHANE walk slowly together as they talk.

SHANE: Once I found out you were back in town, I came by the diner a few times. I wanted to see you. See how you were.

JESS: Why?

SHANE: I read your book. I thought it was really great.

JESS: Sure you did.

SHANE: What?

JESS: You want a lock of my hair or something?

SHANE: What?

JESS: I know about the kid, I know what this is about. I'll take a paternity HYPERLINK "http/new. \l "doredir"test, I'll pay child support, I'll do whatever you want, just leave me and Rory alone.

SHANE: What the heck are you talking about? Do you think...

JESS: I saw him Shane. Don't play dumb with me.

SHANE: (laughs) You think you're his father?

JESS: Aren't I?

SHANE: Trust me. If he was yours I would have been knocking on your door three years ago when the strip turned pink.

JESS: Then who's the father?

SHANE: You'd kill me if I told you.

JESS: It's ancient history, I just wanna know.

SHANE: I didn't cheat on you, it was right after we broke up.

JESS: Just tell me.

SHANE: Chuck Presby.

JESS: What?

SHANE: I know.

JESS: I hated him.

SHANE: That's why I slept with him.

JESS: That guy is a jerk!

SHANE: You broke my heart Jess, what was I supposed to do?

JESS: Could have found a better guy to sleep with.

SHANE: Like who, you?

JESS: Anyone besides Chuck Presby.

There is a pause.

JESS (CON'T): So is he, you know, a good dad?

SHANE: (laughs) Hasn't paid me a dime. Wants nothing to do with me.

JESS: You got his address?

SHANE: Why?

JESS: Give it to me, I'll go knock some sense into him. You'll get a check every week.

SHANE: That's okay. I'm fine without him. We don't need his money. Thanks for the offer though.

JESS and SHANE smile at each other.

SHANE (CON'T): I almost wish you were the father. Then Gus would be smart like you and grow up to write books.

JESS: He'll be smart, just like his mom.

SHANE: You don't mean that. You used to always call me stupid in high school.

JESS: I was the stupid one.

JESS and SHANE look each other in the eyes.

JESS (CON'T): I'm sorry.

SHANE: Don't be. You ended up with Rory. You guys are like Romeo and Juliet. I'm glad you left me for her.

JESS: (shaking his head) I'm sorry I used you. It wasn't right. You're a great person. You didn't deserve that. Raising a kid on your own at this age- I have so much respect for you.

SHANE: That means a lot coming from you. I forgive you.

JESS: I don't deserve forgiveness.

SHANE: To err is human, to forgive is divine.

JESS: I think I read that somewhere.

They smile at each other.

SHANE: We should probably be getting back inside. Rory's waiting for you, isn't she?

JESS: Yeah, she is. Look, Shane, I may not be the father, but I could have been so easily. So if you ever need anything, anything at all, I want you to call me.

SHANE: I just might take you up on that.

JESS: Do me a favor?

SHANE: Anything.

JESS: (hesitantly) Don't tell Rory about this, okay? I didn't really tell her that I saw you and…now I feel like an idiot so…let's just keep this between you and me, okay?

SHANE nods. JESS and SHANE look at each other. SHANE extends her arms and hugs him tightly. JESS kisses her on the cheek. They walk back inside the church.

CUT TO:

INT. LIZ AND TJ'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM -- LATER THAT EVENING

The room is vivid and brightly decorated. There are many pictures of family on the walls and on the mantle. A Christmas tree with brightly colored rainbow lights and lots of tinsel sits in the corner. Many gifts with bright shiny wrapping paper sit under it. Renaissance art hangs on the walls and a few sculptures are scattered around the room. The vibe is vibrant and happy. LORELAI and LUKE sit on a love-seat together, TJ sits in an armchair, and LIZ, RORY, and JESS share a couch. There is a coffee table in the center with many bottles and glasses. The alcohol flows freely among them except for RORY who drinks a soda. Everyone is talking and laughing while JESS leans away slightly, relaxing and sipping a beer.

LIZ: The food must be almost ready, I'm gonna go check on it. (to LUKE) You wanna help me, Bro?

LUKE: Sure.

LIZ: (smiling) Okay. We'll be right back.

LIZ and LUKE head towards the kitchen.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN -- MOMENTS LATER

LUKE follows LIZ into the kitchen. A table is set off to the side with elegant silverware and plates.

LIZ: I'm so glad you could come, I know it was really last minute.

LUKE: We're all happy to be here.

LIZ puts on a pot holder and opens the oven. She pulls out a ham and places it on top of the stove.

LIZ: Look at you. My big Bro. Getting married. And the whole family in one house! I can't believe you got Jess to come. Could you get the rolls out of the fridge?

LUKE: Sure.

LUKE reaches in the fridge and pulls out a can of Pillsbury rolls and hands them to LIZ.

LIZ: Thanks bro. So how are things between you and Lorelai? She looks great.

LUKE: They're good. We've started to plan the wedding.

LIZ: Oh yeah? Set a date yet?

LUKE: No, no date yet, although we're looking at April or May.

LIZ: Oh, a Spring wedding! That'll be beautiful!

LUKE: Yeah, it will.

LIZ pulls out a cookie sheet and starts placing the rolls on it.

LIZ: So how's my boy?

LUKE: He's doing fine.

LIZ: That's good. Helping you out at the diner?

LUKE: He's a great help.

LIZ: That's my Jess. He was always a hard worker. So does he have any girlfriends?

LUKE: Jess?

LIZ: I mean, have you seen him with any girls?

LUKE: Just Rory.

LIZ: Oh yeah? I thought she had a boyfriend.

LUKE: She does. Or did. I'm not really sure, one way or the other.

LIZ: Oh well. We should go tell everyone to come sit down, it's almost ready.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

LIZ and LUKE enter the living room. RORY and JESS are gone. TJ is trying to make the lights stop blinking on the Christmas tree.

TJ: Hey Liz?

LIZ: TJ what the hell are you doing?

TJ: I'm showing Lorelai the lights on the Christmas tree, but they won't stop blinking.

LIZ: Let me see that.

LIZ reaches for the remote control to the Christmas tree in TJ'S hands.

TJ: No, I got it.

TJ presses a button and all the lights go out.

TJ (CON'T): Great. I broke it.

LIZ: Jess knows how to fix these things. Lorelai, where did Jess go?

LORELAI: He went upstairs to go show Rory where the bathroom was.

LIZ: Oh, okay. I'll go get him.

CUT TO:

INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM -- MEANWHILE

JESS leads RORY into an empty bedroom.

JESS: This is Liz and TJ'S room.

He flips on a light switch. The room has Renaissance art everywhere and the bed is King sized with a large canopy over it. JESS sits down on the edge of the bed.

RORY: It's beautiful.

JESS: (taking her face into his hands) You're beautiful.

He kisses her and pulls her down onto the bed. RORY pulls away.

RORY: Jess, not here.

JESS: Not here, not at your pool house, not at Lorelai's, not at Luke's.

RORY: We got caught by my grandmother!

JESS: Your grandmother's not here.

RORY: Your mother is here.

JESS: It's nothing she hasn't seen before.

RORY: I'm something she hasn't seen before!

JESS: Good, I get to be on top. If anyone walks in, they won't see you.

JESS smiles seductively and climbs on top of Rory and starts kissing her. The door swings open and LIZ enters. LIZ gasps and closes the door quickly.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

LIZ runs downstairs with a huge smile on her face.

LIZ: Rory and Jess are kissing upstairs!

LUKE: What?

LIZ: This is great, I'm so happy for him.

LUKE: I'm gonna kill him.

LUKE gets up and starts to head towards the stairs.

LIZ: No, Luke, sit down, they're just kids, let them have their fun.

LUKE hesitates, then sits down.

LIZ (CON'T): Did you guys know about this?

LUKE and LORELAI look at each other.

LORELAI: We may have known something.

LIZ: Why didn't anyone tell me?

LUKE: Liz, you know how Jess is. One minute he's here, the next minute he's in California. We didn't know if it was gonna work out, we didn't wanna get your hopes up.

RORY comes storming down the stairs with her arms crossed angrily. JESS chases after her.

RORY: I am never going in a bedroom with you again, ever, anywhere. I'm never kissing you again, ever, anywhere!

JESS: Rory!

RORY runs out the front door. JESS follows her.

TJ: Aren't they gonna be cousins?

CUT TO:

EXT. LIZ AND TJ'S HOUSE -- MOMENTS LATER

RORY is standing outside, shivering without a jacket on. She tries to warm her arms up. JESS comes outside carrying her jacket. She turns away from him. He hands her the jacket.

JESS: Here. It's cold.

RORY takes the jacket and puts it on but does not face him.

JESS (CON'T): I'm sorry. I didn't know she was gonna walk in.

RORY: Your mom saw us kissing on her bed.

JESS: I know.

RORY: She must think I'm slut. I wanted to make a good impression.

JESS: She doesn't think that. Liz is a hippie, all peace and love, she thinks sex is a natural expression between two people.

RORY: Did she tell you that?

JESS: When I was twelve.

RORY: Wow.

JESS: She's probably in there making out wedding invitations right now.

RORY: We were just kissing.

JESS: She's never seen me with a girl before.

RORY: No way.

JESS: I've never brought one home.

RORY: That's impossible. You had so many girls in New York.

JESS: And by the time she came home they were gone.

RORY: Why?

JESS: They weren't good enough.

RORY: (smiling) And I am?

JESS smiles and kisses RORY. They kiss for a moment and he pulls back.

JESS: Whose car is that?

RORY turns to face the driveway. There is a black car.

RORY: (quietly) Merry Christmas.

JESS: Rory...

JESS is speechless. He walks over towards the car and looks at the license plate. He looks more carefully at the car.

JESS (CON'T): (quietly, with disbelief) My car.

RORY: I fixed it up.

JESS: How did you do this?

RORY: Gypsy helped.

JESS: You painted my car?

RORY: And fixed the engine, changed the oil, fixed the carburetor, fixed the breaks, put in new seats, new carpeting, a new steering wheel, fixed the dents, new tires...

JESS: (in shock) How did you afford all this?

RORY: If I tell you, you'll be mad.

JESS: Tell me.

RORY: Logan bought me a car...two cars, actually, and I sold one so I could fix up your car. I gave the other one to Lane. I knew you wouldn't let me buy you a new car, so I thought this was the next best thing. And you can't refuse it, because it's your car.

JESS: You really got under the hood and worked on this car?

RORY: Gypsy has pictures to prove it.

JESS: You did all this for me.

RORY: (cutely): It was nothing.

JESS grabs RORY and kisses her passionately. She kisses back. They wrap their arms around each other tightly. RORY pulls away slightly. They rest their foreheads against each other.

JESS: (quietly) What's wrong?

RORY: (pulling away slightly) Nothing. It's just...

JESS: No good?... Too much tongue?

RORY: No, no...just enough...it's just that...everything feels so new with you...but when I kiss you...it feels like you never left.

She touches his face gently and kisses him. RORY shivers.

RORY (CON'T): It's so cold.

JESS: Not as cold as my hands.

JESS slides his hands up the front of RORY'S shirt. She gasps.

RORY: (giggling) Jess stop!

JESS: You really want me to stop?

RORY: No.

They kiss.

CUT TO:

INT. LIZ AND TJ'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM -- A SHORT WHILE LATER

TJ is still standing by the Christmas tree trying to fix the lights. LIZ is on the couch showing RORY and LORELAI a photo album. LUKE and JESS sit off to the side.

RORY: (giggling and pointing to the photo album) Is that Jess?

LIZ: Yes. When he was seven, these girls from school came over and asked me to borrow some make up. I thought they were going to play house or something. When I came back, they had him dressed up like Madonna!

RORY and LORELAI laugh hysterically. JESS shakes his head.

JESS: It was awful.

LORELAI: Wow, Jess, you look just like a virgin.

LIZ smiles and closes the photo album.

LIZ: I think it's time for presents.

LORELAI: Oh, presents! My favorite part.

RORY: Forgive my mother, she has no concept of the spirit of giving.

LORELAI: Not everyone can give their boyfriend a car.

LIZ: You gave Jess a car?

RORY: I just fixed up his old one.

LIZ: Wow. Why didn't you tell me things were getting so serious between you two? I feel like I've missed everything.

JESS overhears the conversation and walks over towards them. RORY and JESS look at each other.

RORY: It's just been...complicated. We didn't wanna tell you before we knew for sure it was going to work.

LIZ: (to JESS) So does that mean you're...

JESS: Staying.

LIZ hugs JESS with joy.

LIZ: Oh, my baby's staying! In Stars Hollow!

JESS hugs her back and smiles. Everyone sits down to open presents. JESS hands TJ a present.

TJ: My step-son gets me a present. I wonder what this could be.

He opens the present.

TJ (CON'T): An etch-a-sketch! How did you know!

LUKE'S face becomes worried.

LUKE: (whispering to JESS) That's what I got him!

JESS: Something tells me he'll use them both.

LIZ: Rory?

RORY: Yeah?

She scoots closer to LIZ.

LIZ: I have something for you. I've been thinking all week, 'What can I get for you', but now I have the perfect thing.

She takes an ornament off the Christmas tree and hands it to RORY. It is a paper plate with a finger paint hand print on it of a child's hand. In messy children's writing, it says, "This is something to remind you, when I have grown big and tall, that I was once very little, and my hand was very small. Jess." As RORY reads the ornament, her eyes well up with tears.

LIZ (CON'T) I smoked a lot of pot when he was a kid, but I still have so many memories of his childhood. You should have it. Jess has never brought home a girl before...you're very special to him. I want you to have this.

RORY: (choking back tears) I know...It's perfect. Thank you.

JESS: (to LIZ) (embarrassed) What are you giving her? She doesn't want that.

RORY: Yes I do.

LIZ and RORY hug. RORY shows JESS the ornament. He rolls his eyes, then smiles and kisses her on the forehead. LIZ hands JESS a present.

LIZ: Merry Christmas, Jess.

JESS smiles softly and opens the present. It is an Apple Laptop.

LIZ (CON'T): I thought you could use it to write your next book.

JESS: This is too much.

LIZ: No, it's not. Every author should have a laptop computer. Lorelai helped me pick it out, she says it's the same one Rory has, but the latest technology. It has a word processor and everything you need.

JESS smiles and puts the computer down.

JESS: (very quietly): Thank you, Mom.

LIZ is silent for a moment.

LIZ: (quietly) What...what did you call me?

LORELAI and RORY smile at each other as they watch. JESS looks down, then back up.

JESS: (hesitantly) Mom.

LIZ starts crying and hugs JESS tightly.

LIZ: You haven't said that since you were ten years old.

JESS hugs her tightly.

JESS: Please don't cry.

LIZ pulls away and wipes her eyes.

LIZ: I love you Jess.

JESS: (quietly, hesitantly) I love you too.

JESS and LIZ hug. JESS looks over her shoulder at RORY. She smiles at him.

CUT TO:

EXT. LORELAI'S HOUSE -- EVENING

The house is brightly lit and decorated. A big red bow with a sign that says First Place is tacked to the mailbox.

CUT TO:

INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM --MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

The house is dark and silent. All the presents are under the Christmas tree.

CUT TO:

INT. RORY'S BEDROOM -- MORNING

RORY and JESS are lying in bed in pajamas, holding each other tightly with the covers tangled around them. RORY stirs and wakes up. She gently sits up, trying not to wake JESS. She yawns and rubs her eyes. She looks around her room. There are racks of modern looking clothes everywhere, mostly polos and jeans. RORY stares in awe. She shakes JESS with one hand. He stirs and opens his eyes.

JESS: (groggily) Did Santa come yet?

She kisses him.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

LUKE, LORELAI, RORY, and JESS are all sitting under the Christmas tree opening presents. PAUL ANKA sits happily on his new pillow with a new bone in his mouth.

LORELAI: (reaching for some presents) And one for Rory, and one for Jess, and one for me.

She hands out the presents accordingly. LUKE opens a long box with some new fishing poles in it. He kisses LORELAI.

LUKE: It's just what I wanted. Ooh, open that one, you'll like it.

LORELAI opens the box. Her eyes go wide. She takes out matching jogging suits, one large and one small. The large one is navy blue and says Luke. The small one is baby blue and says Lorelai.

LORELAI: (quietly) The whole package with matching jogging suits.

LUKE: I figured since we have Paul Anka, we didn't really need the Golden Retriever.

LORELAI: Thank you seems so meaningless right now. Luke, I don't know what to say.

She puts her face close to his.

LORELAI: Have I ever told you how much I love you?

LUKE: (smiling) I love you too.

They kiss. RORY and JESS smile at each other.

RORY: Open yours.

JESS: Open yours.

RORY: Fine, we'll open them at the same time.

They both open their boxes. Both presents are a pair of black Converse sneakers.

LUKE: Looks like we won't be the only matching couple.

RORY smiles.

RORY: I'm gonna go get something, I'll be right back. (to JESS) Don't open anything from me without me!

JESS: I won't.

They kiss softly. She gets up and walks towards her room.

CUT TO:

INT. RORY'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

RORY closes her bedroom door tightly. She opens a drawer and pulls out a paper bag. She closes her eyes tightly and pulls a used pregnant test out of the bag. She opens her eyes and looks down. There is a plus sign.

FADE OUT.

(End Credits)


End file.
